Finally Understanding
by Blemery
Summary: ATBG Anyway this is my little story on my favorite character for this show Noelle, it was written before she was actually taken from the background.


Finally Understanding

*Disclaimer* I don't own.  

Author's Note: Ok I found out about Noelle about a year and a half to two years before she was ever on the show as a main character for she's in every show in the background Where's Waldo haha.  Yeah and I knew she was going to be my favorite character cause I love Carl.  Anyway so I waited and waited for 'And She Was Gone…' *my favorite episode* and finally I couldn't wait anymore I decided if they would not air a show with her in it I would make a fic with her in it.  I made three go me! So anyway the reason why I say this is cause it doesn't all go with the show.  At least the newer ones kay kay just think before 'And She Was Gone' and you'll be good

"Noelle," she says like she understood me.  "That is not how we act in _this_school."  
  


I sat down quietly; it was easier, when no one seemed to notice me. At this school every one seemed to notice me. They say freak when I walk by. I never thought of myself in that way before. What was wrong with puppets? "This is your last day and then all of you are going to Lucky Jr. High," She stares at me.  "I hope you all are prepared for what's that like. The Lucky Elementary children will join you and the halls will be crowded with _People_

who can break or make you. If you're not ready you wouldn't make it."  
  


Why was she staring at me.  I was ready. It could not be that much different.  No one could change me, yeah!  "Wah," I articulate.  I walk out of the school for the last time, as I practice my Judo. I am ready for anything; take that, "Yah!" I do a jump kick off the steps of the school.  I took my time going home for it was good to be outside. It was good for practicing yoga. Hmmm...I should do that. I sit down on the ground and close my eyes. I cleared everything from my mind and just breathed. That's when things came to me, Dreams, I think. It was the red hair that tipped me off. I knew this person and for a while I think he knew me. The shiver that ran down my back told me that nothing good would come to him this summer. I would have to keep my eye on him, just to ensure his safety. 

Then I was disturbed.  I opened my eyes, I was in my room, and the sun was shining in.  It was summer for the first time in a year.  I slipped into my green shoes with the toes that curled at the end you might call them slippers.  I also, put on a green robe over my green silk pants there were partners on these showing their foreign style.  I went outside.  I had to start my watch.  So I went across town.  I was not exactly sure where to find him.  I looked carefully for clues until I spotted the Hooded one.  I decided to follow closely; he'd lead me to the red haired one.  Then he went into the backyard of what looked like a two-story house.  I politely rang the bell.  A girl answered she looked at me awkwardly.

"I wish to seek the presents of a certain Carl Foutley," I say.

"Dog house round back," She says, "Can't miss it."

I bow grateful for her help, and then I step back and head to this 'Doghouse.'  I knock once and wait.

"State your name and business," I hear from inside.  I was silent. "Did you hear me?"  I stood still the door flies open, "Gripling I really don't have..."

"That's not Blake," Hoodsey says.

"Noelle," Carl crawls out and stands up, "I haven't seen you in a while."

"What are you doing here?" Hoodsey asks.

"I'm here to protect Carl," I state the guys look at each other.

"If you want to hang out with us that is ok; you can just ask," Carl says.

"I must hang out with you, for your safety," I say.

"One moment," Carl says pulling Hoodsey aside, "Is she serious?"

"I don't know but what does it matter," Hoodsey says, "I think she's cool enough to hang out with us."

"Ok," Carl turns to me, "You are welcome to stay we're planning to get my eyeball back."

"I can get it," I say.  No way, he could, that could put him in danger, but if I got his eyeball it would be all right.

"You?"  Hoodsey acts surprised.

"Its perfect," Carl says, "He'll be watching us at the party, but he would even notice Noelle."

"That sounds logical," Hoodsey says, "We'll have to wire her to keep in contact."

"Yeah and we can't show up with her," Carl says.

"That does not comply," I say, "I must watch out for you."

"Noelle, you'll be with us; just not with us," Carl says, "Can you come to the party tonight?"

"Yes," I say, "Who will be present?"

"Oh you know the class oh and the former 8th graders Courtney's idea," Carl says.

"Will the girl Foutley be present?"  I ask.

"Yes, Yes certainly," Carl says, "Now let's dress you up to keep the attention off you."

"First where is this eyeball located," I say this seemed very important to the red haired one.

"Here is a map," Carl says, "It's in that room."

"What will you do?" I say.

"I will...Hoodsey will be watching out for my safety as I talk to guests," Carl says.

"Are you sure he will be loyal?"  I ask.

"Hoodsey? Of course," Carl says.

"I shall wear this," I state.

"Well I know Dodie is dressing up don't you wanta?" Hoodsey says.

"I cannot obtain an eyeball and protect Carl in a Dress," I say, "In China many people wear this to parties."

"Ok," Hoodsey shrugs, "My mom is making me dress up."

"So is my sister," Carl sighs.

"Do you get to wear a hat?"  Hoodsey asks.

"No Just a normal tux," Carl says.

"Carl must not wear a tux," I say, "Carl is not that ordinary."

"Do you have another idea?"  Carl asks.

"Do you have more of those robes?"  Hoodsey asks.

"No, Hoods we're trying to blend," Carl says.

"Carl you're trying to blend," The girl Foutley says to him.  She has her two girl friends with her, "Just stay away from me."

"Is the girl Foutley embarrassed by you?" I ask, Carl nods, "I think the boy Foutley is cool."

Carl smiles, "Thanks you're not so bad yourself."

"I must find the eyeball," I say. Carl waves to me. I had to complete this task quickly, to keep Carl safe. I followed the map to a boy's room. It smelt like Blake. The eyeball was out in the open.  I took the jar and put it in the bag the Hooded one gave me. I glanced around it was too clean for a little boy, "To be friend Carl Foutley?" I picked up the book and opened it.

Step 1: Take away the Woodsey. If I be friend Foutley then the Griplings will be back of top. Carl has the works of greatness that is what I will use to my advantage.

I close the book and toss it on the floor it had no value to me. I decided that this room was void of anything of interest. I went downstairs the former 8th graders were dancing and talking; but the former sixth graders were too shy to speak to their male or female classmates. No one noticed me as I crossed the room to hand the goods over. I bowed when I reached Carl and Hoodsey.

"Noelle we're blending," Hoodsey whispers.

"I'm an individual," I say handing the bag to Hoodsey.

"Let's go," Hoodsey says, "This party is boring."

"Carl," The Blake voice says from behind me. "I surprised you're civil enough to show."

I spin around, "Excuse me Carl hasn't wished to seek your presents, be gone."

"Huh?" Blake asks.

"Be gone," I say positioning myself, "Or pay wah." My hand flies at him.  He flinches as I stop two millimeters from his face, "Go."

"Did I invite you?" Blake asks.

"Noelle," Carl touches my shoulder, "Blake is ok annoying but ok."

I relax, "As you wish."

"Well actually hoods and I were discussing the lameness of your party," Carl says, "If it doesn't pick up..."

"Well ask some one to dance then," Blake says.

"Why don't you?" Hoodsey says. Blake looks around and then stops at me.

"Off limits Blake," Carl says, "She's our associate tonight."

"Well what does that mean?  Is she your date?" Blake questions.

"She just tried to beat you up," Hoodsey points out.

"Carl will dance with me!" I say.

"I will?" Carl says.

"Yes," I say, "It will be easy."

"What?" Carl asks. I lead him away from the boys, "What are you doing?"

"Leaving," I say, "You're coming with me. I don't think you should be around all these people."

"Oh I thought you were serious about dancing," Carl says. I look at him it seemed like he wanted to.

"Is that what you want?" I ask. Carl looked at his feet.

"Ok," I bow and take his hand. He was shaking and all sweaty it was odd, "Are you afraid, Carl?"

"I...I...I," Carl stutters I laugh.

Then I was no longer at the Griplings the party was over.  It was the next morning. I was going back to Carl's the feeling that something bad would happen was getting stronger.  I rang the bell and Carl and answered.

"Noelle," Carl says, "Hey."

"Are you all right?"  I ask.

"Sure," Carl says, "Just eating breakfast."

"Good," I say, "I need to make sure you'll be ok."

"Noelle, I don't understand you said that yesterday," Carl says.

I shrug, "I just have a bad feeling."

Carl moves aside, "Come in," I follow him to the kitchen.  The girl Foutley was there, stirring scrambled eggs around on her plate.  She seemed to be to preoccupied with her thoughts to eat, speak, or notice me.  Carl sat and began to eat his soup, "Did you eat?"

"Yes," I nod.  Ginger looks up at me.

"It's seven in the morning; why are you here?" She asks.

I look at Carl, "I think she's talking to you Noelle."

"Wait Noelle?  Wasn't she the girl that you danced with all night?"  Ginger asks.  Carl turns scarlet, the phone rings, Carl grabs it.

"Hello?"  Carl says, "Oh hey Dad," Ginger lights up, "I'm ok.  No, you didn't miss much; going from sixth no seventh grade is easy." 

Ginger takes the phone from him, "Dad," Ginger goes into the living room.

Carl finishes quickly and then I follow him outside, "I'm going to get Hoodsey so we can all hangout."  I didn't say anything.  Carl walked silently to his friend's house.  I practiced my judo while we waited for the door to open.  A blonde-headed girl opened it; she looked suspicious.  So I took my place near Carl and waited for her to make a move.

"Carl, Hoodsey is spending the day with Dad, and you're not suppose to go," She says as the Hooded one came up.

"Hey Carl," he steps outside, "I'm really sorry, but I can't hangout.  It's just me and my Dad.  We'll hangout tomorrow."

"Yeah sure," Carl says, "Are you sure you have to hang out with your Dad?  How boring is that?"

"Its not boring," Hoodsey says, "I have to."

Carl heads home, "Well I guess it's just the two of us, unless you have to do something?"

"My parents work," I say, "All the time, they let me do what I want."

"Cool," Carl stops at the park, there were tons of little kids there, but for some reason I don't think Carl noticed them.  "Father Son Day next Saturday," Carl sighs.

"Dad, Dad," a kid runs by, "Can we go to that?"

"Sure," A man says.

Carl looks away and begins to head home.  He spent the rest of the day in his room, working on a paper called '**_The Prefect Dad_**.'  The only thing he really had written was:

**1) Be There**

He was in the middle of **2)** but Ginger walked in, "I don't think Mom wants girls in your room."

"She lets Darren in your room," Carl says.

"That is completely different," Ginger says.

"Oh yeah, how," Carl says, "Besides, we're busy."

"Doing?"  Ginger wonders.

Carl hides the paper, "Classified."

Ginger grabs it she read it quickly, "Carl."

"Go away, Ginger we're busy," Carl says.

"You should tell Dad this," Ginger says.

"Get away from me," Carl says.

"I'll take care of it," I say, "Wah," I get in my stances, "Be gone," I kick the air in front of Ginger, she looks at Carl, and leaves.

"Thanks," Carl says sitting down.

I sit beside him.  I think, I found that this awful thing that would happen to him was not physical, but emotional this would take much more work.

"Can you bring me the phone," Carl asks.  I ran down the hall and grabbed the phone, it wasn't cordless but it reached his room.  "Thanks." He dials the phone and I sit next to him I decided to do some yoga.  To see if I could fell more about this boy.  I let everything go and concentrated, "Dad, this is Carl…" That's the last thing I heard, before I lost myself if my breathing.  

_Everything was blurry, Carl was in his living room waiting for something that didn't come.  Then the fear filled me, the hurt, and the hatred._

  I opened my eyes Carl was speaking on the phone still, "I know you're busy, but I really want to know if…you'd…go with me…to the umm…Father Son Day here…Normally I'd umm…find someone else or just not ummm go.  But, umm I want to go and I umm…couldn't think of ummm…anyone else.  So would you just think about it?"  There was a pause, "You will?  No fooling…Thanks…I'll be waiting for you Saturday."  Carl hangs up he was grinning. 

 I would have to be here to make sure he'd be ok.  "Let's go to the doghouse," Carl stands up I follow him.  We spent the rest of the day planning away to get Blake to make a fool out of himself.  It was a nice plan; I just don't think it would work.  Blake was very tricky.  Carl invited me to stay for dinner.  So I did. It was a good way for me to keep an eye on him.  His mother was so nice to me.  Carl told her about his Dad.  She seemed as is she was in disbelief.  After dinner I went across town to my own house.  

The next morning, I found Carl on the way to Hoodsey's house.  He wasn't too surprised to see me.  I followed him to the Hooded one's home.  Hoodsey was still in his nightclothes.

"Hey Carl," Hoodsey says, "Do you have a plan?"

"Yup," Carl says, "Guess who is going on a family trip all summer."

"You?"  Hoodsey says.

"No," Carl says, "Higgsby is going to Europe.  Guess who they don't have to watch their monkey?"

"You?" Hoodsey asks.

"Right," Carl says.

"He'll never let you he doesn't trust you," Hoodsey says.

"Who went to his b-day party?" Carl says.  Hoodsey points at Carl.  I grab the finger and twist it back.  That was danger if I ever saw it!

"Hey let go," Hoodsey whines.

"I'm not letting you hurt Carl," I say.

"Noelle, he just pointed," Carl says.

"This time it's just a finger, but what of next time," I say.

"I wouldn't do that," Hoodsey says.

"Now you wouldn't," I let go and shake my head, "After yesterday, I can't be to sure about you."

"What did I do?"  Hoodsey asks.

"You know exactly what you did," I say.

"Noelle look protect me from everyone but Hoodsey," Carl says.  I bow it was as he wished.  "Let's go," Hoodsey runs upstairs to get changed.  Then we went to the monkey boy's house.

He answered the door, "Hello Brandon."

"Today we are packing Carl, I have no time," He shuts the door but I put my foot in his way, "What?"

"Carl wishes to speak with you," I say, "You will grant his wish or I may have to hurt you."

Brandon steps outside, "We," Carl says, "Have caught word that you have no one to watch Mr. Licorice.  Being a monkey fan myself I will take the pleasure of keeping him.

"My monkey will not stay with a monkey," Brandon says.

Carl glares, "Remember when we helped you out?"  Brandon shakes his head, "B-day, yours, who came?"

Brandon gulps, "I'll get the monkey," Hoodsey says.

"No," Brandon says, "But if you're so stuck on this we can make a deal just don't tell my mom.  I am popular I am popular I am I am I am."

I laugh, "Noelle," Carl says, "She'll keep your monkey at her house.  She has a pet and is very careful."

"She will?"  Brandon asks, "What will you feed him?"

"Shrimp," I say, "My Flamingo eats that and uh…fruit and celery, lettuce oh and lots of hugs and some kisses."

"Come in," Brandon says.

"Carl too?"  I ask.

"Yes but take your shoes off," Brandon says. 

The guys groan, "I'll need slippers then."  Brandon looks at me, "I can never be too careful.  Moccasins will do."

"Hold on," Brandon goes to the closest and comes back with 3 pairs of slippers.

"Nice," Carl says we head in.

"I like her Carl she's clever," Hoodsey whispers to him on the way to Brandon's room.

"Here he is," Brandon opens the cage door, and the monkey comes out.

"Davy," I say to the monkey he crawls over, "Hello I'm Noelle.  Carl says that I shall watch you, if you are good."

"How much will I have to pay her?"  Brandon glances at Carl.

"Well enough for food plus a 3 dollar profit for every day," Carl says.

"That's fair," Brandon says, "But any money you make off of him I get 25 percent.

"10," Carl says.

"20," Brandon says.

"One-fifth I don't think so," Carl says.

"One-tenth," Hoodsey says.

Brandon shakes his head, "15 percent," Carl says, "I'm not going to change."

"20," Brandon says.

"Carl said 15," I say, "And it will stay 15."

"Ok," Brandon shivers, "Sure."

"Thanks," Carl says, "Let's take him home."

"Come on Davy," I say picking the monkey up.

"Davy?" the boys say.

"He likes Davy better then Mr. Licorice," I state.

"Does not," Brandon says.

"Ok Mr. Higgsby," I say, "I'll call him what you do."

We left then, "You were amazing," Carl says, "I don't think we could have talked him into that without you."

"Does he have to wear this bow?"  I ask.  Hoodsey takes it off and throws it on the ground.  That was short lived, because that night Brandon's Mom called they were putting Davy in a monkey preserve for the summer, then she came and took him back.

"Oh well," Hoodsey comments, "There are other things to do," it was the next morning we were in the doghouse discussing yesterday.

"I know," Carl says, "But what we have the eyeball.  The monkey is long gone.  We're too old to play little kid stuff and too young to do anything exciting."

"We could always go to a movie," Hoodsey says, "I know that's what Dodie does."

"Ok," Carl sighs, "I'll get the money."

"Let's ride our bikes," Hoodsey says.

"Noelle does not have a bike," Carl says.

I jump up, "I can double."

"Cool," Carl says, "I'll get my money."

"Money?"  I ask.  I check my pockets.

"I'll spot you," Carl says, "But only because you have to protect me.

I smile.  He was beginning to understand.  "Thank you Carl."

"Meet us out front," Carl grabs.  Hoodsey and runs into his house.  I went outside, because even though 98 percent of all fatal accidents happen in the home, I decided that Carl left me outside for a reason I after all respect that.  I went into the front yard.

Ginger was out there and so was this boy.  He had dark hair, white straight sparkling teeth; he smiled too much for his own good.  His voice was deeper then Carl's but not so much.  He looked up at me and then moved a little away from Ginger.  "Hey Noelle," Ginger says in her sweet voice, "Noelle is Carl's friend Darren.  She comes over every morning and leaves every might since school ended."

"Hey," Darren says.

I look at him questionably, "What are you up to?" Ginger asks.

"We're going to a movie.  Carl's getting money," I say.

"Really?" Ginger says, "That's normal."

"Just the two of you?"  Darren asks.

"No," I say, "But, I'd move over a little more or people might say that about you two."

He looks at me oddly and then Carl and Hoods walked out.  I was smug as Darren moved over.

"Let's go," Carl says his hair was gelled to one side.  It was kind of weird but in a good way.

"Don't you look nice," Ginger says, "For a movie?"

"Thank you Sis," Carl says, "Let's go Noelle."

"Coming," I say following Carl, "What happen to the bikes?"

"We decided to walk.  We have time and it's not far," Hoodsey answer.

"All right," I say, "Does that mean I need money too?"

"No," Carl says, "I still have you covered."

"Thanks," I say.  

Carl smiles; there was something completely weird about him.  Not the normal weird that I knew, but different.  So we went to the movie, Carl sat in the middle of the hooded one and I.  The movie was frightening and gory, with a little bit of romance.  During this very frightening scene, I don't know how it happened, but the red haired one's hand was holding mine.  I don't think he noticed right away, but when he did he didn't let go.  It was sort of cool, but in a slimy way, I think Carl might be part frog.  He eventually, let go when the credits rolled and the lights went on.  Hoodsey, I think, knew Carl had been doing that.  On the way home Hoodsey and Carl talked about the movie.  Then, that blonde hair girl, I saw at Hoodsey's, came up.  I did a chart wheel to get in position, my left hand in front and my right ready to strike.

"Mom wants you home for dinner," The girl says.  "Plus you and Dad have to get ready for this Saturday."

"Dodie," Hoodsey snaps; glancing oddly at Carl.

"I'm going too," Carl says, "My dad said he'd be there."

"Your dad?" Dodie, the blonde girl says, "Well you know, you can always just bring someone else's Dad, or even your Mom.  Darren's dad will take you.  Oh, or that doctor your mom works with."

"He said he's coming," Carl says.

"But, Carl what if he doesn't," Dodie says Carl looks away.

"Be gone," I say, "I'm sent to protect him and you're hurting his spirit."

"You could always come with us," Hoodsey says, "We'll have fun."

"If he doesn't come, I'm not going," Carl states, "It's just not that important."

Dodie bits her lip, "I said be gone and take your hooded kin."

"Bye Carl," Hoodsey says as they leave.

Carl was really quiet.  He always was when they were gone; people that is.  "I will be there Saturday," I say, "To protect you."

"But you're not a boy," Carl states.

"Nope but you are," I say.

"Do you think he will come?"  Carl asks.

"It's hard to say," I state, "I think he wants to.  What was your favorite part in the movie?"

"When the main guy slays the evil haunting the town," Carl says as we went into his house.  "Then he turned to the girl, that he use to be so different from, and he leaned down and kissed her."

"I liked the part when the guts gushed out of the first victim," I say.  Carl smiles and shakes his head.  I could tell that he liked that part too.

"Want to stay for dinner?" He asks.

I think for a second and nod in approval.  "Will the girl Foutley be there?"

"Will I be there for what?  And you can call me Ginger," Ginger says.

"Dinner," Carl says.

"Did you invite her again?"  Ginger asks Carl nods, "That's so cute do you two like each other."

"It's not out of the options," Carl says.  

That was interesting were they part of my options.  Is that why I held his clammy hand today?  Did I even like Carl?  I mean of course he was cute.  He was the cutest boy going into seventh grade, according to the list provided by the most popular girl at my school, Rebecca or Becky.  This 'did I like him' got me all though dinner and nearly kept me up all night.  I practically missed Carl on the way to the sign up for the Father Son day, and you know what I still don't know the answer.

Carl sighed up easily and then he read about the games, prizes, and food Carl seemed to glow as we went back to his house.  He got out his 'Prefect Dad List'.

**2) BE GOOD ENOUGH TO WIN AT LEAST ONE PRIZE**. 

I really didn't think that matter so I asked him what he meant.

"Well everyone is good at something," Carl explains, "People, who have a good enough Dad that can win prizes, will also be cool enough and good enough to win prize on their own." 

"Well what if they are good at things, that they don't have prizes for?"  I ask.

"Like?" he asks.

"Accounting," I say.

"Let's just stick to this," he says I shrug.

**3) HAS A SENES OF HUMOR**

**4) LIKES MY FRIENDS**

I don't think he understood what a father was, but it was his list.  I went to the table and opened the photo book.  The first page had a baby picture of Ginger and one of Carl.  Then I turned the page to a picture of a man that was on the couch with the Foutley family, and there was a picture of a dog.

"That's my Dad," Carl leans over.

"He looks scared," I say Carl looks at me oddly, "Where did this Dog go?"

"She was stolen," Carl says, "Monsteir."

"No she was just lost," I say.  I could feel it, "She was looking, scared, she was alone."

"Noelle you can't tell that from a picture," Carl says turning the page.  

Fear filled the room and then it was empty.  I felt that way, as if there was water all around me but I was always thirsty.  Like a black hole; the emptiness and the fear that filled this page, the room, and this family, were swallowing me.  

Then he turned the page it was happier.  I noticed the pictures were of when Carl was in kindergarten and Ginger was in third grade.  I felt love a little too, this was a better page.  All the other pages fluctuated, but gradually became happier.  Until it was a picture of a couple weeks back and if felt like now did.  I realized then that under it all Carl felt fear he felt alone just as that third page.  He may not even know that.  It may be buried that deep in him, under all those years.  I forcefully smiled at him, he grinned back.

"You'll have to bring a camera on Saturday," Ginger walks in.  I felt the same fear in Ginger.  She was afraid to be alone and Carl was afraid that he was alone.  How could he feel that way?  I was right here.  The next thing I knew I had that wet cold hand in mine.  

Carl glances at me, "I will," Carl says, "Noelle can be my photographer."

"You know just because she's your girlfriend doesn't mean she likes following you around or doing things for you," Ginger says.

"We're not at the girlfriend stage," Carl says, "But that does make sense.  What do you want to do?"

I think carefully and the only thing that came to my mind is that I wanted to be his girlfriend.  Was that too weird?  "Let's go to…" It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I wanted to show him my secret place.  I went there because; it was secret so I could be alone there.  Isn't that strange; I like to be alone and Carl was afraid of it and so was Ginger.  "Is Ginger coming?"

"Do you want her to?"  Carl asks.

"Will that tall brown haired kid with the straight teeth be there?" I ask.

"Darren?"  Carl asks, and I nod.

"What do you have planned?" Ginger asks.

"Let's go to my secret place and…"

"Have a picnic," Ginger says, "I'll go."  Carl looks disappointed a bit.  "I'll make your favorite; go get Darren please."

Carl stands up, pulling me up along with him.  We went to the house next door.  Carl rang the bell Darren answered, "Will you come with us and Ginger on a picnic?"

"All right," Darren smiles he seemed excited, "Just let me get ready.

"No you're fine," I say pulling him outside.  I shut the door and we went to get Ginger.  My secret place was by this lake there were wild flowers everywhere and circling that were huge trees.

"Beautiful," Ginger says, "good choice."

Darren lays that blanket in the grass and they set up.  Carl ate very silently.  Ginger and Darren spoke, well mostly Ginger told him things.  She was telling him about Dodie and a girl named Macie; then she spoke about Courtney, I think, she was Blake's sister.

"What's wrong?"  I whisper to Carl, Carl shrugs, and I add, "I think he'll come."

"You do?"  Carl asks I nod, "How can you be sure?"

Right then, I did not know, but it seemed right to say, "Because he loves you."  Carl looked skeptical.  "Well I like you," I say, Carl smiles.  I don't know why I said that!  I never liked him before.  Did I?

"I like you too," Carl says.

"Check it out," I jump up.  "A Newt," I pluck it out of the water and hand it to Carl, "For the eye of Newt."

Carl laughs, "It's too cute to lose an eye."

"Cute," Ginger stares disgusted.

"Give it a kiss, it might turn into Ian," Carl says.  Ginger jumps up when Carl dropped it on her lap.

"You'll squash him," I say, as a she stomps the ground.  I tried to reach it but Ginger's boots smashed my finger.  They began to bleed and everything.  At least the newt got away.

"Noelle," Carl grabs my hand, "Are you ok?"

"I'm sorry," Ginger says I pull my hand away I was ok, I think.  

After that we went back to Carl's house and my hand kept bleeding a little but I didn't show anyone.  I felt so dumb I was here to protect Carl, and I had hurt myself because I let my feelings get in the way.  Well not anymore, I was here for one thing and if I could not do that then I would just have to go.  Being a friend was not part of this.  Although, Carl was so nice to me, he noticed me.  He was like me. 

 Hoodsey was in Carl's doghouse when we arrived home.  My hand was bleeding more then ever I put it in my pocket.

"Carl," Hoodsey says, "My Dad said it would be ok if your Dad hung out with him, so we can all hang out."

"Oh," Carl says, "Well Noelle was going to come with me, but she can hang out with all of us too."  

"Carl," Hoodsey groans, "You can't bring her!  It defeats the purpose of Sons and Fathers."

"She's going whether I let her or I don't.  She has to protect me," Carl says I nod.

"Carl, you'll be with Dads.  How can she protect you better then they can?"  Hoodsey says, "She's just a little girl.  You don't actually believe her," What was he up to, I thought, as he continued, "She just follows you around because she does not have anyone else to bug."

If Carl hadn't told me not to touch him, Hoodsey would be in tears right then.  Oh who cares about what he said.  I pull out my hands and go to hit him, "Noelle," Carl says uh-oh, "I thought you said you were ok?"

"I am," I say.  Carl shakes his head; he pulls something out of one of his draws and grabs my wrist.  I try to pull away.  "Hold still," he commands wrapping a bandage around my hand and then let's go, "you should have told me."

I look away, "I didn't want you to be ashamed of me I can't even protect a newt let alone you."

"The Newt got away right?"  Carl says I nod, "See you did awesome."

"You say that," I say, "Or maybe I am just a bug."

"Noelle," Carl says.

"No I am, I will go," I say.  

I walk outside and go to my own house.  For the next 3 days I stayed away from the outdoors.  I didn't answer the phone either.  I was so dumb I had failed.  I sat in my bedroom; I was punishing myself for failing.  I was in timeout until I went over everything I did wrong.  I had finally begun to pin it.  When a feeling swept over me it was anger, hatred maybe?  Although, I already felt hatred for my failure right then, it did not come from me.  I closed my eyes and waited.  The house was familiar although empty…there he was watching at the window but no one came.  I could feel the pain in this red haired one.  I wasn't going though.  I already failed once.  Then the emptiness that had lied in the background grew; the pain and anger was swallowed up.  Like a huge black hole it sucked in everything even; the light, the hope.  Then the sadness was circling around the room, like a huge slimy sliver lining.  Ugh, all right I'm going, I grabbed my sandals and walked over to Carl's.  It was 12:30 he shouldn't be home, because it was the father-son day.  However, if my feelings were right, and they always were, he was at home being swallowed by loneliness.  I knocked softly, the door opened slowly. Carl stood looking disappointed.

"I have come to protect you," I bow.  Carl lets me in, "He did not come?"

"Not yet," Carl falls on the couch, "Whenever he's broken promises he has always called.  I guess he figured it doesn't mean anything anymore."

"Carl," I say.  Sitting down on his feet, since he took up the whole couch, "I don't know, but I think he must have a reason."

Carl moves his feet, so they are on top of my lap, "Oh yeah he always does." 

"Carl, just because he is not here, does not mean he does not want to be.  He loves you," I say.  "When I was gone, it did not mean I did not want to be here."

"Yeah," Carl says sitting up and putting his feet on the floor, "Why were you gone?"

"I failed you, Carl," I say, "I didn't protect you."

"Of course not, you left," Carl says.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Look Noelle, I don't need you to protect me.  I just need you," Carl says, "You make me happy."

"Me?"  I ask Carl nods, "But, my feeling Carl you felt so empty and sad.  You were afraid that you were alone."

"But I'm not alone," he says, "You're here."

"Yeah," I smile, "Let's do something."

"Ok," Carl stands up, "Let's have our own day a Carl-Noelle Day."

"Then we'll have to play games," I say, "And win prizes."

"Let's see who can climb the highest up the tree, at Darren's," Carl says.

"Race you," I run outside.

 Carl and I reached the tree at the same time.  I nearly climbed the whole way but then the branches became too small.  Carl and I were tied at the top.  We spend the whole day doing kid things, like it was cool.  Right before dinner, Carl and I were in the kitchen.

"The first prize goes to…Noelle," Carl says handing me a spoon.  He had found it trash picking.  I took it and the phone rang.  "Hello?  Carl answers, "No she's not here.  I can take a message."  Terror filled the room.  As Carl listened his face grew sad, upset, scared.  Then he hung the phone up, "My D-dad, he was in a car accident."  He slips down on the kitchen floor; leaning against the wall he pulled his legs close to him.  "He was on his way here, and now, he, he is, he is in the ER."  

"Carl," I say looking down on him.  I drop to my knees in front of him.  He was shaking so hard.  He buried his face into his knees.  The poor thing I did not have any idea what to do.  So I just leaned over and hugged him.  I don't know how long we had been like that when Dodie, Ginger, Mrs. Foutley and this other girl walked in.

"Carl," Ginger says.  Carl pushes me away and stands up.  He wiped his eyes even though his cheeks were still wet.

"What happen?"  Lois asks directly.

"Dad didn't come huh?"  Ginger asks Carl nods, "Oh Carl it's not that important."

"He was coming," Carl says shakily says, "He's in the hospital now."

"What, Carl that's not funny," Ginger says.

"I am not kidding," Carl says, "He was in an accident he's in critical condition."

Ginger gasps, "Where?"

"Here in town," Carl says, "They helicopter him here, from the highway."

"All right," Ms. Foutley says, "kids get in the car we'll go down there."  

Ginger was in tears from then on.  Mrs. Foutley let me and the other girls stay.  We waited in the waiting room.  While Carl's Mom went to see what was going on.  Dodie and that other girl sat near Ginger and tried to comfort her.  Carl sat on the other side of the room.  He stared at the floor.  He was no longer able to cry.  I wanted to talk to him but I did not know what to say.  I sat down next to him.  We were silent for a long time.

"Thank you," Carl whispers only I heard, "For not leaving me alone. I'm glad you were there."

"It's not a problem," I say.

"Can you tell if he'll be ok?"  Carl whispers.

I close my eyes and try to see something all I felt was sorrow, "Well?"   I look at him, "Maybe you should change your list," I hand it to him.

He looks at it and tears it up, "This list is dumb I need to start a new one."

"I'll get some paper," I say running out of the room.  Carl follows me we accidentally slide into a recovery room.  A young man laid motionless the heart monitor showed that he was alive though.  There were balloons and flowers everywhere.  There was a picture of a young lady and a little child next to his bed.

Carl picks up the clipboard, "Shot on duty, condition fair.  Well that's good."  I felt the end.  He would only be fair for so long, "Noelle you're shaking.  What's wrong?"  

I turn away from the man, "Lets go this room is filled with pain."

"Noelle a room can't be filled with an emotion," Carl says.

"Let's go," I say.  Carl opens the door and lets me out.  I took a deep breath when we got outside.  Carl moved into the next room.  I followed him, even though, I knew we weren't suppose to do this.  An old man sat up in bed, "Oh sorry."

"No stay," The man smiles that made me feel better, so I pulled a chair up next to him.  "I don't get many visitors."

"Oh well my Dad's in here, we're waiting," Carl says.

"Oh, your Dad, that's always sad.  I'm a Dad. One boy about 20," The man says, "Scared?"

"Yeah," Carl sits down.

"My son is too.  He hardly visits.  I know its hard to watch a father die, but you have to get use to it and spend the time you can with him." he says, "Now suppose it was turned around many fathers watch there boys die.   There is only one thing worse then that."

"What?"  Carl asks.

"A mother watching their child die," he says grinning.

"So what are you in for?"  Carl asks.

"Cancer," the man says, "I have 3 months to live."

Carl frowns, "That's awful you're so cool," the man laughs.  "I'm Carl."

"James," he says as he smiled.  I could feel the warmth there was nothing wrong here.  I closed my eyes and felt joy, "And your friend?"

"Noelle," Carl says I open my eyes, "We have to go.  We'll be back," Carl stands up.

"Hope your Dad gets better," James grins Carl smiles.

"I feel," I say standing, "That you will live forever."

"Noelle," Carl says, "You can't feel that."

"You will." I say, "You'll get better soon too then you'll visit Robert."

"Robert?"  Carl asks.

"My Son didn't I say his name?"  James asks Carl shakes his head.  I walk out into the hall.

"Noelle," Carl grabs me, "How did you know that?  How do you feel these things?"

I shrug, "I always have if people want me to know."

"What do you feel about me?"  Carl questions.  I shake my head and turn away, "Noelle, tell me I will not be mad."

"You're lost," I say.  "You feel lost people, who are lost feel helpless, and scared, and confused.  Alone.  I didn't even know it.  Until I looked in your photo album.  That page, I could barely breathe."

"I don't feel alone," Carl says.

"No, you're afraid that you are alone.  You're afraid that you're the only one in the world like you.  Carl you need to solve that; because it's so deep with in you that you don't know it exists.  You just see the problems it causes."

"You're wrong," Carl says, "You think you know but…"

"You wrote it Carl, **The**** Best Dad 1) Be there**." I say.  Carl glares, "You said you wouldn't be mad."

"Get out of here Noelle, I hate you.  I don't want to see you around here."

"Carl," I say.  Why had I opened my mouth?

"Hoodsey was right you are a bug, an annoying bug, but guess what, I just called the exterminator," Carl says spinning around and going back to the waiting room.

I walked home all by myself, and thought about everything I had done that day, 'first prize goes to Noelle…' It echoed in my head that night before I feel asleep.

After that day, summer was like any other summer.  I hung out with some girls, a little bit, and I found myself alone for more of it.  For the first time though, I actually felt as if I didn't want to be alone.  Soon I forgot about that week, I was my old self.  Noelle Sussman, that's how I was when I went to Jr. High that first day. It all would have gone great except that hooded one ran into me between 1st and 2nd hour.  I jumped I was ready to attack.  He glanced at me picked our things up and shoved mine at me.

"What?"  I ask, I relax he glares, "Uh…how is Mr…"

"Fine," The hooded one walks away.

I shrugged it off but that was just the beginning.  At lunch Davy Brandon's monkey jumped at me from the other table.  He bit me I jumped up as the girls around me scream.  The monkey let go but I was bleeding.  I sat down and put my hand in my pocket that was the worse thing I ever did.  After lunch I went to class I had science.  I was paired with the red-haired one.  He didn't seem to mind and why should he even though he hated me.

"Pass the test tube," Carl says I reached for it, "Noelle!"

"What," I say jumping out of my seat, but no one looked over.

"You're bleeding," he says.

"Yeah well Davy bit me," I sit, "You would be too."

"If you don't recall I've been bit by Brandon's monkey," Carl says, "You should go to the nurse so it wouldn't become infected.

I raise my hand the teacher waks over, "Can I go to the nurse's," he looks at my hand and nods.

I went there and they had to make sure I wasn't diseased  I stayed way passed the bell and I had to go back to get my stuff.  I thought as they wrapped my hand, "Ok," the nurse smiles.  I go into the hall to go get my stuff.

"Here," Carl says handing me my things, "Looks like your hand got in a fight with my sister's boot again."

"Carl," I say, "Don't talk to me, I don't want to be a pest.  I don't want you to hate me."

"Noelle," Carl takes my hand, "I'm sorry I said those things.  You were right you know.  I was afraid and then when you were gone I realized it.  I also, realized I lost the one person that I never felt  alone with."

"Who?"  I ask Carl laughs, "So you don't hate me?"

"Noelle I never could."

"How did you realize it?"  I ask.

"James got better went to visit his son the other guy didn't.  But, mostly because you protected me and then my Dad got better," Carl smiles, "I have a new list." He hands it to me.

**THE BEST DAD**

1) **LOVES ME.**

He finally understood, "Turn it around."

**_WHY I LIKE YOU_**

**_1) _****_Protects Me_**

**_2) _****_Understands Me_**

**_3) _****_Understand the List on the Back_**

**_4) _****_Makes Me Laugh_**

**_5) _****_Shows Me to Dance_**

**_6) _****_Stays for Dinner_**

**_7) _****_Make Me Happy_**

**_8) _****_Co-Founder of Carl-Noelle Day_**

**_9) _****_Lets Me Cry_**

**_10) _****_Can Feel the Emotion of a Room._**

"What do you think?"  He asks, "It took me forever to do."

"I think its better then your first list," I say.

"Yeah and what do you feel?"  Carl asks.

I close my eyes and just felt my heart beating, I open my eyes, "Love."


End file.
